The Australian dream.

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It’s that satisfying feeling of vigour you get from driving a 2cv with the roof off on a fresh, crisp winters day which is just unparalleled.

Actually, just the feeling you get from driving a 2cv anywhere is unparalleled.


Last Voyage

It’s malty, with slices of bread on its tail, but that was just the end of the voyage; with moments and levers in perfect harmony, what came before was pure IPA glory, with perfect balance in every aspect of flavour and figure.

A spicy concoction of bitterness precedes, led by an onslaught of tropical fruit with its oozing crevice hunting aroma. 

However, immediately prior to this display of wealth, it was just sat there, slowly showing off its gradually appreciating globe. 

The pour was insignificant, in that its qualities were as yet unknown. It’s removal from the fridge was as untroubled as it’s first voyage in my possession; from the bottle shop where I caught my first glance, shortly before its last voyage began. 

How was your last voyage? 

The Cretan Craft. Part 1.

Golden Pints 2016

Welcome to my first ever Golden Pints.  You’ll find that it doesn’t conform to the same formula as everybody else’s.  Why should it?  This has been my year in beer, and for that reason alone I’m writing this my way and not to a prescribed formula.

So here you are.

Best bottled beer.

Marble Brewery, Portent of Usher.


It’s difficult to explain exactly what this beer did to me when I drank it.  But I wished it would never end, it’s sumptuous, heavenly, warming and probably one of the best beers I’ve had this year.

Best Cask beer.

Tapstone Kush Kingdom.


Photo credit: @forkandcarrot 

Hazy, fruity, gloriously full in the mouth.  Difficult to believe that it’s actually a cask beer.  The body and life of the thing are truly fantastic, definitely should be one of your five a day.

Best Canned beer.

To Øl Sur Mosaic.


You really don’t need anything else in a can, but this.  Fact.

Best Double IPA.

The Number’s 55|01.


It’s pretty damn near perfect, in every way.  Coupled to the way it just appeared, with no fuss.  Bang, here’s our first Double IPA.  Thank you very much.  The rest of you can stay at home.

Best Cloudwater DIPA.

V6 all the way, that aroma is just incredible.  So good in fact, that I’d quite happily have it as an air freshener.


The order of the rest?  Oh just put the remaining version numbers into ERNIE and see what comes out.

Best use of beer tiles.

So many people have used beer tiles this year, it’s been a tricky one to conclude.  Do you go for consistency or variety?  Here’s some of my favourites of this year.


Photo credit: @HoptimisticDude


Photo credit: @Myles Lambert


Photo credit: @Sparkyrite

But I think the overall winner has to be this from Matt The List.


Best beertographer. 

Tom Denham has taken some spectacular shots this year.  Lighting and depth of field have been pretty near perfect in most of his shots, the subjects haven’t been too sloppy either.  Think he and I need a bit of a photo competition.

Best BBNo Saison.

All of them.

BBNo All Saisons

What do you mean one?  Really?

Ok, if I must.  It begins 01|

Best professional drinker.

Not saying, but here’s a link to the AA should you ever need it.

Best blog.

Has to be Adrian Tierney-Jones.  I’ve not kept up with a lot blogs as much as I should have done this year, and neither have I kept up with my own for that matter.  But I always manage to find time to read Adrians.  It’s pure beer poetry, no matter what he writes.  One could say it’s poetry in mash tun.

Best personal beery achievement.

Becoming an ambassador for St Austell’s Proper Job.

Sharing my love of this glorious beer with other like minded people and informing others of its presence has been great fun.  I’ve met some fantastic people over the last twelve months through being an ambassador, and I’m looking forward to 2017 and plenty more Proper Job.

Because as they say, it’s always Proper Job o’clock!


Tapstone, Opium Wars. A beer on the silky side of hoppiness.

Brewer of, perhaps, the most interesting beer at the recent CAMRA Festival of Winter Ales in Exeter, is the Tapstone Brewing Co, and that beer is Opium Wars.  Billed as ‘An unfined dark brown beer.  Strong hop aroma and citrus flavours and a lingering finish’ it is in actual fact an oily, black IPA.  Unfortunately by the time I’d managed to get myself to the festival, this beer had run out.  However, on further investigation I discovered that the Tapstone Brewing Co is based in Chard, and I have just started a new job working out of, you’ve guessed it, Chard.  So, off I went to find the brewery and get me some of that beer.

Pump clip

Chard is not a big place, and neither is the industrial estate on which the brewery is based, but could I find it?  Eventually after driving round and round for the whole of my lunch break, I saw a clue.  A white van parked outside a nondescript unit with beer casks peeking out of it’s open door.  This has to be it, and there it was.  The unit door was open so in I walked, to find James Davies, the brewer.  After a quick introduction, I was led into the business part of the brewery.  Not big either, but all the kit was there and the room smelled absolutely incredible.  I’m sure James’s nose has become accustomed to the smell, but it was a glorious dose of fruity tropical hops, and I was in heaven.

At the rear of the brewery are the two main vessels, and contained in one was the next batch Opium Wars.  Still conditioning, I was told it wouldn’t be ready for a couple of weeks.  We discussed pumps and flow rates, and agreed that I should return after said conditioning time had elapsed.

A few weeks later I returned to the brewery.  When I arrived James was casking up a new, low abv beer, called Zen Garden.  At 3.6% this is the lowest strength beer that the brewery has produced.  The aim was to create a massively hopped, light beer with a decent body.  And after a quick taste, I can confirm that it’s pretty much met that mark.

Zen Garden

We picked up from our previous conversation and began to talk oxygen and the way that it affects beer.  James’s desire to rule out any oxidation that could occur is evident when you see just how full my bottle was.  But even filled to this level James isn’t satisfied.  As in his mind, the bottle should be filled to the brim, to fully preserve all the hoppy goodness contained within and prevent any oxidation from occurring.

Now, back to the main reason for my visits, Opium Wars.  This beer never usually reaches bottles, in fact, none of Tapstone’s beer usually ever makes it into bottles.  So I have been very fortunate to be able to obtain this bottle and I am also very grateful.

Let’s start with the label.  With its simple graphics and just enough information to tell you what’s inside, it’s like what you’d expect to find on a white label promo record.  And during my record collecting days, these ‘white labels’ were the hens teeth and most collectable of all records.  I’ve still got boxes of vinyl, all doing exactly what I’m not going to do with this beer, ageing.

Opium Wars

The beer, pours a very dark brown with its grassy, roasted chocolate notes making their way around the room and deep into your nostrils.  As it’s luscious, slick, velvety body lands on your tongue, your senses are kicked into life by the light citrus, cherries and bitter chocolate contained within.  And the presence of the dark chocolate leaves behind a sublime bitter finish that just lingers, and lingers, and lingers.

This is a truly stunning example of a black IPA, it’s not just an unfined dark brown beer with a strong hop aroma, citrus flavours and a lingering finish.  No, this is much, much more than that.  The depth of the flavour and complexity are outstanding.  It’s balanced too.  The aroma hits you first and that flavour just drags you in.  Not to mention the feel of the thing.  It’s absolutely magnificent.


50 Shades Of……

About a month or so ago, I managed to secure a bottle of the very limited run that Innis & Gunn produced to coincide with the release of the film 50 Shades Of Grey. It was called 50 Shades Of Green and was billed to be a beer that was “infused with ginseng and other aphrodisiacs” and contained fifty different hop varieties.


Now if you’re a hop head, like me, all this sounds incredible. Just think of the flavours that could be gleaned from fifty different hops in a single beer, whereas the majority of other, normal beers, may only include two or three, and an aphrodisiac to boot? I’m in……

And when said bottle arrived, cocooned in a simple brown box, with a couple of green hearts stamped on to it, it kind of reminded me of the subtle, and supposedly nondescript packaging, that may contain some form of illicit goods that you need to hide from somebody. It’s a nice touch, but is it deliberate or did the money run out after committing to all those hops?


Contained within the cocoon, along with the bottle, is a list of all the hop varieties used to compile the beer and also a fidelity contract that states that you must not indulge in any other beer brand for one month!


Well if I’m to be honest, I may have cheated and consumed some beer from another source. What will my punishment entail?

So after all of this, is this beer worthy of all the hype?

I dove in and opened my bottle expecting to be floored by an overwhelming global hop aroma, but instead I was greeted by a subtle biscuity malt smell. Hmmm. There’s a hint of pepperyness from all those hops, but it’s mainly malts with a mild grassy tinge coming through.


Feels good on the tongue though, nice and full, but smooth too. There’s a light bitterness in there that’s coupled with a citrus taste and the finish is soft, but slightly uninspiring.

I’m not quite sure what to make of this. It’s nice, don’t get me wrong, but I feel maybe too much is going on and some flavours are being cancelled out by others. It’s just not what I was expecting and certainly not the hoppy head rush I kind of wanted.

This is a good pale, but if I’m honest, some smaller breweries out there are getting much, much more from the ingredients they have available to them.

This is a shame as normally Innis & Gunn produce beers that are quite outstanding. The variety of flavours is very good and usually you’d only need to wave a Toasted Oak IPA or a Scotch Whiskey Porter in my face and you’d have my attention.  But somehow 50 Shades is lacking, and it’s not for the want of trying. Cramming 50 hop varieties into one beer is no mean feat, but I feel the hype surrounding the original 50 Shades has got the better of them and the beer is just a sales tactic.

A Date with The Russians

I’m not one to cheat, but when your wife goes to Berlin for the weekend and you have some ladies saved for an evening together…… Well, you just have to oblige and take advantage of the situation. (Now you must realise that I’m not actually going to cheat and the ladies in question are the four Brewdog Russian Dolls).


So, phone off, lights dimmed and John Legend setting the mood, I collect the Dolls from their hiding place.

I’ve never been great at judging a book by it’s cover and I would always get sucked in by some pretty pictures to then realise what I’d actually bought was a pretty poor and expensive leaflet.

But, on this occasion, I was anything but let down. The artwork just jumps out and pulls you in, and I mean it drags you in. If you’ve read about the Dolls but haven’t tried them by now, then you are really craving them, and the artwork just adds to the fascination. Miles away from being just a beer label on a generic four pack, it doesn’t need an aged He-Man wannabe prancing around a studio glacier to sell it, this is art.

What Brewdog have done is made everybody who loves their beer become completely infatuated by it, and the artwork is almost collectable. I mean you’re not just going to see these ladies put out for recycling now are you?

To tell you the truth, I didn’t even want to open these. They have been in my beer box since Christmas and I wanted to hoard them and guard them forever. Every time I went to grab a beer, I’d check to make sure they were still there. No one else would drink them, but I saw myself as their guardian, protector almost.

But as I’ve said, my wife’s in Berlin and I have a date….

So just what are the Dolls. Are they quads? Two pairs of twins? Or just sisters? Well, although they share the same DNA, they are anything but identical.  The same hops and malts may be used in each beer, but they’re blended in different quantities to give a different, and progressively higher ABV for each iteration.

So, lets get ourselves acquainted shall we….

The Pale. She’s not necessarily one to play it safe, just measured, balanced and in control. You could hang out all day and she wouldn’t put a foot wrong or say anything out of place. But she knows just how to keep you from straying.


Pours with a light golden colour, nice and clear. Has a good and fine head that quickly diminishes.
The aroma is delicate and citrusy that’s ever so lightly peppered. You really have to chuck your nose in to get at it, but it’s good. It opens up nicely on tasting, being really fresh, crisp and bitter. This is a good classic pale.
It’s lush and velvety in the mouth, with quite a similar finish to Dead Pony, only slightly softer on flavour.

The IPA. She’s definitely a step up. Got a cheeky side. Like a drunk student moving for-sale signs, she can have fun but she knows when to call it a night.


Just a whisker darker than the pale, with a slight cloudiness caused by suspended bubbles. More intense aroma, more proud, and it’s all about the citrus fruits. This really reminds me of candied orange and lemon segments. The bitterness has increased and tasting is of creamy orangeyness. It’s far from being pure OJ, but it’s there alright. And that orange flavour lingers right in the back of your throat too.

The Double IPA. Now things are starting to get interesting. She’s bitter, a bit twisted. Constantly in your face and ensures that you take the rap whilst she carries on.


Again we’re going darker in colour, similar aroma to the IPA, just a smidge more of it and hunting isn’t necessary; we’re making real progress now. The orange is tangier and now slightly marred by the creeping malt presence. The malts are starting to give off a mild honey note which makes this sweet on the tongue. Still very bitter but the sweetness balances it nicely. There’s also a good chunk of caramel coming through. The increase in viscosity since the Pale and IPA is noticeable but it’s far from being chewy; just a good round texture. This is an excellent Double IPA, which offers a slightly different take to what I’m familiar with. But go careful though, we’ve left the session drinks far behind now….

The Barley Wine. Well, imagine Shirley Manson fed purely on a diet of Buckfast; Indefatigable, unashamedly full on and certainly not one to bring home to meet your parents.


Much much darker now, with the presentation being a deep reddish brown. Pours with the same fine head as all the previous Dolls, just slightly slower, and with nothing in suspension, due to the further increase in viscosity. The fruitiness of the aroma has dulled and very is close to becoming overpowered by the extreme maltiness. Exceedingly sweet, with an intense hit of malty, toffee-esque, jammy alcohol coming through. It almost has a whiskeyness creeping in around it’s depths and because of this, you’d best take your time…..


Having these beers just sat there waiting was hard. They were like the actress with seductive glasses, you know the one, who when she removes them becomes the star? Yeah. Except in this instance, she was keeping them on and withholding her secret, a secret that I was so desperate to reveal. And now, with the glasses removed, I can assure you it was worth the wait.